Saturday, June 28, 2008

radio:ACTIVE

Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.
--Rabbi Julius Gordon

For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
--Rainer Maria Rilke

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
--H.L. Mencken

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Another line from the heart. That's all this is. Another song for the radio.



I've been having a lot of thoughts lately on luck, love and life.

(Can you tell I'll be quoting my personal lyrical genius, Tom Fletcher of Mcfly, quite a bit?)



Luck.



Luck of the draw, in my opinion, is not true. There is no draw. Everything is laid out, in perfect order, from beginning to end. There is One who knows all and sees all; His omniptotence is irrefutable. We've been blessed with free will, but even when we make choices, even small ones, He knows ahead of time what the outcome will be. He won't give us more than we can handle. Mistakes happen. We break promises to ourselves, and to Him, and we get confused and run down and find ourselves very lost and very alone. The precipice that I'm standing on is the edge of 17, and a lot of things are changing and shifting in my life - things that most 17 year olds never have to deal with. I'm halfway through beauty school. I'm a high school graduate with a GPA of 4.798. I'm so independent but so afraid of silly things; so insecure but so sure of myself; so naive but still a bit too worldly. I don't have a best friend or a sister, so I'm alone in figuring out things that would be easier if I had someone by my side. Luck? What luck? I've got no such luck.



Love.



The heart never lies. True, so true; the heart is the epicenter of emotions and, I believe, intelligence. I have a friend who had her heart lead her astray...although, really, everything happens for a reason, and while it may seem like she's screwed now...I think she'll be ok. Every girl dreams about her wedding and about who her knight in shining armour is; a lot of girls get their dream-come-true wedding, too. But it's what happens after that counts. I like someone a lot more than I probably should let myself, but it's impossible to stop, so I go on liking him the way and do and hoping my heart doesn't get smashed. Isn't that what being young is about? Praying you don't get your heart smashed, praying no one squelches your dreams. Tricky, Tricky.

Life.

The odds and ends, the bits and pieces...everything gets woven together eventually. Music has always, always been my life. As far back as I can remember...it's been about music. About love. About writing. About movement and lyrics and thinking and dreaming and laughing. Music is all-encompassing; it's the lion and the lamb. Lately, though, it's been lost to me. I'm too busy "figuring out" life, deciding what to do, running from here to there, working, going to school, working out, sleeping, giving in...when all I really, truly need to do is sit at my piano and play. As my friend Christy said, "lyrical thoughts are her words." It's the truth. I think in song, and when i sit at my piano every emotion, every ounce of anger and love and hate and peace and fear and insecurity and lust and joy and jealousy and laughter pours out onto the keys and I can start to heal. I can cope at my piano. It's never just another song for the radio; it's always a line from the heart.


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Lyrical thoughts are her words. Her thriving artistic mind is what makes it work. She’s been betrayed more than most, but remains truthful and that gives me hope. She’s mischievous in that fun loving sort of way. She likes new places but fears leaving old ones behind. Puts a smile on faces even though the thought wasn’t in mind. She is she with no apologies. Shes kind and warm. Shes my new friend. I hope she is with me till the end.
-- Christy Clarke, my dear friend.

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